Stupid joke FRIDAY

[floydjer]

I have a fear of Santa...Claus trophobia..............Did you know Santa goes to the mall to sit on Chuck Norris lap??

[WOODY@DDLLC]

No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between these two words.
In a recent linguistic competition held in London and attended by, supposedly, the best in the world, Samdar Balgobin, a Guyanese man, was the clear winner with a standing ovation which lasted over 5 minutes.

The final question was: 'How do you explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED in a way that is easy to understand?'

Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED.

Here is his astute answer:

"When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE.
When you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED.
And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!"

He won a trip around the world and a case of 25 year old Scotch.

[Seldom Seen Slim]

Exemplary effort, Woody!  Thank you very much.

[4-barrel Mike]

Yes, what Jon said.

But...certainly in the wrong thread.   

Mike

[Stainless1]

Back in high school my English teacher told us "Santa's little helpers" was about subordinate clauses....

[salt27]

Back in high school my English teacher told us "Santa's little helpers" was about subordinate clauses....

When Stainless's English teacher told him "Santa's little helpers" was about subordinate clauses....     

[Milwaukee Midget]

Back in high school my English teacher told us "Santa's little helpers" was about subordinate clauses....

When Stainless's English teacher told him "Santa's little helpers" was about subordinate clauses....     

I decided to Czech that out -

"Když jej učitel angličtiny Stainless řekl, "Santa má malí pomocníci", bylo to o podřízených klauzích."

[floydjer]

all of my trees have taken off work...They are on paid leaf............

[floydjer]

and..Since I am so crappy at posting links...you fellows need to go to bangshift.com and check out the videos posted today of an engine failure on the dyno. There  is a reason my `liner`s engine will be behind me.

[manta22]

With the engine behind you, you will be the last to know that you're on fire. Ask me how I know.....

Regards, Neil  Tucson, AZ

[floydjer]

how do bees part their hair???..With a honey comb............

[floydjer]

two bed bugs met in a mattress...They got married in the spring..................

[Stainless1]

Why did the ant change its course to the cookie crumbs....

It didn't want to walk through the spot where the centipede 

[floydjer]

And Bob rushes to the lead  leaving me bee hind...........gotta get to the cooking class I teach, Don`t want to keep my stewed ants waiting...

[Dynoroom]

you guy's are starting to bug me...