Stupid joke FRIDAY

Started by floydjer, March 20, 2009, 08:11:27 AM

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WOODY@DDLLC

#3750
September 28, 2018, 07:47:08 AM
Quote from: floydjer on September 28, 2018, 07:02:27 AM
I watched a segment on the local news regarding self driving vehicles and it made me wonder.....How long until we hear a country song about a guy`s truck leaving him too???
Not until his momma goes to prison!  :x :-D :cheers:
All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz

floydjer

#3751
September 28, 2018, 08:06:51 AM
I was thinking.....If I glue a dead wasp to my palm....I could smack a total stranger in the head and they`d end up thanking me.................... :evil:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

floydjer

#3752
September 28, 2018, 08:26:44 AM
I won $2 million on  a lottery ticket.....Patti insisted I donate a quarter of it to charity....So now I have $1,999,999.75............................ :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

tauruck

#3753
October 04, 2018, 04:26:19 PM
Happy belated birthday Jerry. :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers:

floydjer

#3754
October 05, 2018, 06:22:09 AM
I think that is Happy After Birth Day Mike.....................
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

floydjer

#3755
October 05, 2018, 06:22:59 AM
A nice , long nap helps you live longer...Shortens the work day too..............
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

floydjer

#3756
October 05, 2018, 06:24:19 AM
Back when I was a single guy...I had a gal dump me because of my OCD...I told her to leave and close the door 5 times on her way out :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

floydjer

#3757
October 05, 2018, 11:09:42 AM
Hmmm...On my own today eh?.....I attended the funeral of a friend, Knowing that I am a minister his wife asked if I would speak at the service....I walked up to the lectern and said " Plethora"...As I walked back to my seat his wife held my hand and said " Thank you...That means a lot ".............................. :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Seldom Seen Slim

#3758
October 05, 2018, 12:32:31 PM
Wonderful, Jerry!
Jon E. Wennerberg
a/k/a Seldom Seen Slim
Skandia, Michigan
(that's way up north)
2 Club member x2
Owner of landracing.com

floydjer

#3759
October 12, 2018, 05:10:26 AM
Our local T.V provider has an origami porn channel......It`s paper view.....................................
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

floydjer

#3760
October 12, 2018, 05:22:03 AM
...most people are shocked when they learn how bad I am as an electrician...............
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

floydjer

#3761
October 12, 2018, 05:27:14 AM
***WARNING***   Actual Humor................................My computer has caught the Miley Virus,,,,,It stopped twerking..... :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

4-barrel Mike

#3762
October 12, 2018, 05:52:28 AM
MEDICAL ALERT!!!

Attention users of the "Little Blue Pill"

MEDICAL ALERT!!!

Reliable news reports this morning say that Russia's leading pharmaceutical manufacturer, based in Moscow and owned by an oligarch pal of Putin, has begun  production of a generic "Little Blue Pill" copy.

Please ensure that the pill you are taking is genuinely U.S. made.

We can't have the Russians messing with our erections!
Mike Kelly - PROUD owner of the V4F that powered the #1931 VGC to a 82.803 mph record in 2008!

WOODY@DDLLC

#3763
October 12, 2018, 06:13:10 AM
When Reagan was POTUS the state department told him that the Russians were having birth control problems.
They wanted to know if the US could make condoms that could handle 10"~14" members.
Reagan thought a moment and said to tell them we could supply as many as they needed.
"Just be sure to mark them medium!"  :-o :cheers:
All models are wrong, but some are useful! G.E. Box (1967) www.designdreams.biz

Stainless1

#3764
October 19, 2018, 07:17:11 AM
Recently I was invited to a friends wedding... invitation required a RSVP

I guess "maybe next time" was not an acceptable answer for his bride
Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, Bockscar Lakester #1000 with a little N2O
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