Stupid joke FRIDAY

[floydjer]

I just saw a chicken crossing the road....He was poultry in motion..

[Milwaukee Midget]

I just saw a chicken crossing the road....He was poultry in motion..

I just opened a can of Chicken of the Sea - it was poultry in ocean . . .

[floydjer]

My wife took her driver`s test yesterday...she got 8 out of ten...The other two jumped out of her way........

[Stainless1]

I just added a new app to my phone... Instagram... when selected it speed dials my grandma  

[floydjer]

Do pirates buy aye-phones

[Milwaukee Midget]

Do pirates buy aye-phones

No, they send texts via Ishmael - and it can be frustrating at times, trying to manipulate the touch screen with a hook . . .

"Arrr, , , Call me, Ishmael" . . .

[floydjer]

I`ll bet that when Steve Jobs died, his wife cried her 'I'`s out..............

[Milwaukee Midget]

I`ll bet that when Steve Jobs died, his wife cried her 'I'`s out..............

And droid her tears with a max-I-pad? 

[floydjer]

I just added a new app to my phone... Instagram... when selected it speed dials my grandma  

That is a great app Bob...we wouldn`t want your...." grand mother-bored "

[floydjer]

I received the nicest compliment from a cop yesterday...he left  a note on my windshield that read  ' Parking Fine"..................

[floydjer]

My sister Mary  ( Yes, Jerry Berry has a sister named  Mary.....One named Tarry too )  failed her driver`s test. On the question about what to do at a red light she answered  " I reply to texts and up-date my Facebook ....."

[Milwaukee Midget]

Tonight begins the National League Division playoff series - The Cubs at St. Louis.

As a lifelong Cubs fan, I should be excited, but looking at the starting pitchers, I've come to the realization that this game is going to be rather Lackey-Lester.

Go Cubs! 

[Stainless1]

My sister Mary  ( Yes, Jerry Berry has a sister named  Mary.....One named Tarry too )  failed her driver`s test. On the question about what to do at a red light she answered  " I reply to texts and up-date my Facebook ....."

Middle names Straw and Raz... bet you kids grew up without ever getting in a jam

[Seldom Seen Slim]

I'm pretty sure that Jerry doesn't have a sister named Larry -- and, as far as I'm concerned -- that's probably a good thing.

But -- did you hear about the optometrist that fell into his lens grinding machine?  He made a spectacle of himself.

[wlarryglick]

There I was, sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.

"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says menacingly, as I burst into tears.

"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can't stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home, there I found my wife with another man and then my dog bit me."

"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve. Then you show up and drink the whole thing! But enough about me, how's your day going?"