Stupid joke FRIDAY

[Seldom Seen Slim]

I gotta go home now so I'm not tardy.  I hate having to announce:   "Om'let, Om'let!"

[racergeo]

   I've been reading this thread with great interest. Now I think I'll go to bed and pullet.

[Milwaukee Midget]

Busy day in front of me Friday, so I'm posting this on Nova Scotia Time.

I was visiting an elderly relative uncle at a nursing home.  It was getting late, and the nurse came in to give him his medications and a cup of hot chocolate.

I commented that the hot chocolate was a nice touch, and the nurse said, "Yeah, it helps him relax and fall asleep."

But then I noticed that the nurse gave him a pill I recognized.

"That's Viagra!", I said.  "He's 87 years old!  Why are you dosing him with an aphrodisiac?"

"Oh, that's easy", the nurse replied.  "It keeps him from rolling out of bed."

[floydjer]

O.K..the eggs got beat to death..let`s switch to tools ....You craftsmen rachet  this up before Slim puts a hex on it...............

[Seldom Seen Slim]

Let me see if I can get my head to Snap On to some great comments.

[floydjer]

Nailed it Jon...But why wood-n`t you ??

[floydjer]

What is a wrench`s favorite T.V. show???......." I Love Loosey"................

[Milwaukee Midget]

O.K..the eggs got beat to death..let`s switch to tools ....You craftsmen rachet  this up before Slim puts a hex on it...............

No reasons we can't keep 'em both - just serve 'em up on a crescent . . .

[floydjer]

oddly enough...Mrs .Floydjer has Crescent wrench eyes...I look into them and my nuts tighten.....

[Seldom Seen Slim]

Yanno, it's a shame that Nancy doesn't pay attention and post here.  She works in the Hardware department at Lowe's.  My wife is an expert at handling tools all day - she's very good at it.

[Stainless1]

oddly enough...Mrs .Floydjer has Crescent wrench eyes...I look into them and my nuts tighten.....

She's obviously well adjusted   

[floydjer]

Well yeah Bob...She doesn`t hammer the point, But she will chisel away until she reaches the same spirit level as the rest of us..................    (gauntlet tossed)

[bbarn]

I went to the doctors the other day for a checkup and the doctor told me I had to stop masturbating.
When I asked him why he said "Because I am trying to give you an examination!"

[Seldom Seen Slim]

Well, yeah, fine, okay, Brandon, I guess that'll qualify as a tool joke.

[Seldom Seen Slim]

Little Billy was 4 years old and was staying with his grandpa Floydjer for a few days. He was playing outside with the other kids, and when he came into the house he asked, 'Grandpa, what's it called when two people sleep in the same bedroom and one is on top of the other?'

His Grandpa was a little taken aback, but he decided to tell him the truth. 'Well, Billy, it's called sexual intercourse.'

'Oh,' Little Billy said, 'OK,' and went back outside to play with the other kids.

A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, 'Grandpa, it isn't called sexual intercourse. It's called Bunk Beds.

And Jimmy's mom wants to talk to you!!