Stupid joke FRIDAY

[floydjer]

Ok...How did the fat guy with no decorating taste ever fit through that door???

[floydjer]

I heard Polygram records, Warner bros. and Keebler have merged...New Corp. name is  Poly-Warner-Cracker

[Seldom Seen Slim]

I'll say that I got this from Ron Main today.  Make your own judgement:

"Ron Main lived all his life in the California and is on his deathbed and knows the end is near.

His nurse, his wife, his daughter and two sons, are with him.

He asks for two witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes,

and when all is ready he begins to speak:

"My son, David, I want you to take the Ocean Reef houses."

"My daughter Jennifer, you take the apartments between mile markers 100 and Tavernier."

"My son, Michael, I want you to take the offices over in the Marathon Government Center."

"Vanessa, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the bayside on Blackwater Sound."

The nurse and witnesses are blown away as they did not realize his extensive holdings,

and as Ron slips away, the nurse says, "Mrs. Main, your husband must have been such a hard-working man to have accumulated all this property."

The Vanessa replies, "The axxhole only had a paper route."

[floydjer]

why was the computer tired after a cross country trip???...Because it had a hard drive.................

[Stainless1]

Jerry, that joke will take a couple of bytes off your plate

[floydjer]

Can we just...file.. them down a bit ?

[4-barrel Mike]

And if you did file them down, the net result would be?

[floydjer]

And the Lord said unto John" Come forth and you will receive eternal life"  sadly, John came in fifth and received a toaster...........

[floydjer]

Did I mention that Pete has been welding for so long that if you tell him it`s "Miller time"..He puts down his coffee and reaches for his hood and gloves ?

[Peter Jack]

  8-) 8-) 8-)

Pete

[Stainless1]

Jerry, Patti called and asked me to talk to you about putting empty cereal boxes back on the shelf.... she says you take the last serving, put it back, when she grabs the box of Post Toasties for breakfast it is gone.... grabs the Grapenuts it is gone, went for Cheerios...gone
Jerry... she thinks you are a cereal killer 

[floydjer]

Salvador Dali started every day with a bowl of surreal...................................

[Stainless1]

Breakfast.... the most important beer of the day 

[Milwaukee Midget]

Breakfast.... the most important beer of the day 

I keep pressing this "first beer" point with Kate, to no avail.

She'll be making breakfast - and she's damned good at it - I'll crack a beer, and she'll start bully-ragging me about my beer consumption.

It usually ends up in an argument where she throws her Jameson all over my face, and then it gets all over my omelette. 

[Seldom Seen Slim]

Good one, Chris