Stupid joke FRIDAY

[floydjer]

Omelette??  if she`d rather have them Benedict??...I`ll trader.......................( under hand whiffle ball to the comma cop )

[manta22]

Eggs Benedict Arnold.... they turn on you.

Regards, Neil  Tucson, AZ

[bbarn]

Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it.

[floydjer]

Yesterday`s high was 78 and the low was 45...Neither were records............

[floydjer]

The Sun is out and nobody bothered to relight it..........................

[Stainless1]

That may be because the grass is always greener on the unlit side 

[WOODY@DDLLC]

A fleeing terrorist, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the mirage, only to find a very frail little old Jewish man standing at a small makeshift display rack - selling ties. The Taliban terrorist asked, "Do you have water?

The Jewish man replied,  "I have no water.  Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5."

The  Taliban shouted hysterically, "Idiot Infidel!  I do not need such an over-priced western adornment - I spit on your ties.  I need water!"

"Sorry, I have none - just ties - pure silk - and only $5."

"Pahh!  A curse on your ties,  I should wrap one around your scrawny little neck and choke the life out of you, but I must conserve my energy and find water!"

"Okay," said the little old Jewish man, "It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie from me or that you hate me, threaten my life and call me infidel.  I will show you that I am bigger than any of that.  If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a restaurant. It has the finest food and all the ice-cold water you need...Go In Peace!"

Cursing him again, the desperate Taliban staggered away over the hill.

Several hours later, he crawled back, almost dead and gasped, "They won't let me in without a tie!"

[floydjer]

Mountain ranges  aren`t funny....They are hill areas.......................

[floydjer]

hey Woody....similar thing happened to me once...Went out for lunch with 2 Brits, a Scot. 3 south Africans, A jewish guy, 2 Peruvians and a Canadian....They wouldn`t let us in without a Thai...................

[floydjer]

i tried to tell a few  sheep jokes  to a friend`s dog......He`d herd them all before............

[floydjer]

How does a farmer plow his field in circles?  with a pro-tractor.........................

[Stainless1]

How does a farmer plow his field in circles?  with a pro-tractor.........................

Around here we just use a compass....

[floydjer]

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand Bob goes off on a tangent....But I see your point.................

[Ron Gibson]

Sharp isn't he 

Ron

[WOODY@DDLLC]

I read that 60% of all social media conversations were pointless babble! 
Does that mean the other 40% is pointed babble?