Stupid joke FRIDAY

[fastesthonda_jim]

speaking of jokes from the distant past try this (sung to the tune of "Bring Back My Bonnie To Me To Me"

My Bonnie leaned over the gas tank
The height of its contents to see.
I lighted a match to assist her,
Please bring back my Bonnie to me

[floydjer]

My Bonnie has tuberculosis..My Bonnie has only one lung..My Bonnie can cough up raw oysters..And roll them around on her tongue.. :clap :clap

[Seldom Seen Slim]

Gold and silver wall into a bar in the  Copper Country   ..Bartender yells "'eh you..get outta here" So gold left.

[manta22]

Au.................... arghhh

[floydjer]

Slim.....You sure that was not in Leadville..?

[floydjer]

Sure Neil...If that were about a pair of helium atoms you would have said " he-he"

[4-barrel Mike]

Personally, I prefer holmium.   

Mike

[floydjer]

Get back on tract Mike..

[4-barrel Mike]

Get back on tract Mike..

Huh?

tract
[trakt]

NOUN
an area of indefinite extent, typically a large one.

ho-ho 

Mike

(hint: atomic number 67)

[floydjer]

Sigh..holmium is used in treatment of the urinary TRACT.

[4-barrel Mike]

Jaye Morgan, Arte Johnson, and Rex Reed simultaneously strike the gong.   

Mike

[floydjer]

A triple gonging..This may be my proudest moment. :clap

[floydjer]

Got mugged by six dwarves..Not Happy..

[floydjer]

Correction..five dwarves..Sneezy is in quarantine 

[fastesthonda_jim]

Flew back into LAX the other day. 
This burly TSA guard who, let's just say, appeared to be a "little light in the loafers", insisted I have a full body cavity search!
Did NOT enjoy the experience. 
On the bright side I did get a beautiful necklace.