Stupid joke FRIDAY

[floydjer]

I `m so old that everytime I see a young girl my heart races and my pacemaker opens the garage door..............

[floydjer]

Speaking of old....This old guy is sitting in his wheel chair outside the nursing home when a bird lands and takes a dump on his head. His nurse attendant tells him to sit still and she will go get some toilet papar. the old geezer says " Don`t bother, By the time you return that bird will be a mile away...........

[USFRAMONTE]

What sport do you play with a Wombat?





Wom.

[Robin UK]

I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox

So this bloke says to me, "Can I come in your house and talk about your carpets?" I thought "That's all I need, a Je-hoover's witness".

I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays."


Robin

[floydjer]

What sport do you play with a Wombat?





Wom. I played that in school...The object is to hit him in his ...meat-balls

[USFRAMONTE]

What sport do you play with a Wombat?





Wom. I played that in school...The object is to hit him in his ...meat-balls

Jerry, I remember reading about you in Sports Illustrated, as the Wom state champion in Michigan. As I recall you are still the only person to make a hole in one!

[floydjer]

Wasn`t me Monte...I played  the sport of Golf-wrestling.......won an award for "Closest to the pin "

[USFRAMONTE]

A guy showed up at a Haloween party with a woman laying over his shoulders like a shawl.
The host says, "I give up, what are you dressed up as"?
The guy replies,"I am a tortoise".
host, "ok, but what is with the woman"?
guy, "oh, this is Michelle".

[floydjer]

...............was he a pirate?

[USFRAMONTE]

I guess I should have spelled her name.....Myshell!!

[fastesthonda_jim]

I know, I know, it's a Bit early (at least here on the Big Rock, Wobbly), but.....  Let The Thread Begin!

* * * NEWS FLASH * * *

Nancy Pelosi Sues Washington General Hospital for Mal Practice

It seems her husband went in for surgery, and ever since he has had no (as in None At All) desire for sex!  (Can you believe it?)
So Nancy wants some compensation.





Oh, did I mention - hubby was in for cataract surgery and the operation was a complete success!




3, 2, 1.... Go!

[floydjer]

what do you get when you cross a stream and a brook???......Wet feet

[bbarn]

Cat puns freak meowt. Seriously, I am not kitten!

[floydjer]

Is a Fortune Teller`s dance a crystal ball??

[floydjer]

Cat puns freak meowt. Seriously, I am not kitten!

Those were purr-fect