Stupid joke FRIDAY

[Seldom Seen Slim]

Jon, unh, mmm, the rhythmic structure of that last one is lacking -- but why do I think that it's okay the way it's written?

[Captthundarr]

What do you call an Irish man bouncing off the wall......... Ric O'Shea. from the wife, Irish girl,4th grade school teacher....I quit now.....

[Stan Back]

"Jon, unh, mmm, the rhythmic structure of that last one is lacking -- but why do I think that it's okay the way it's written?"

My guess is that he thought you'd edit it so he c'unt leave it alone.

[theazoldcrow]

Jack and Jill went up the hill,
They each had a buck and a quarter !
Jill came down with two fifty,
Ya think they went up for water ?

Hickory dickory dock'
Two mice ran up the clock.
The clock struck one,
The other escaped with insurable injuries.

Hi diddle diddle,
the cat and a fiddle,
the cow jumped over the moon !
Now wasn't that an assanine thing for a creature of the bovine cult to attempt.

[floydjer]

I have a terrible fear of elevators....I even take steps to avoid them.

[fastesthonda_jim]

Okay, it's Friday in the land of OZ.  (I checked).

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father (who was clearly NOT a salt racer)
and working in the family business. When he found out
he was going to inherit a fortune when his ill father died,
he decided he needed to find a wife with whom to share his fortune.
One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most
beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.
"I may look like just an ordinary guy," he said to her, "But in just a few months my father will die and I will inherit $200 million."
Impressed, the woman asked for his business card
and three days later, she became his stepmother.
Women are so much better at financial planning than men.

[Dean Los Angeles]

Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are hanging out one afternoon.
Einstein is bored, so he suggests, "Let's play hide-and-seek. I'll be it!"
The others agree, so Einstein begins counting. "One . . . Two . . . Three . . ."
Pascal runs off right away to find a place to hide.
But Newton merely takes out a piece of chalk and draws a mid-sized square.
He finishes and steps into the square just as Einstein shouts, "Ready or not - here I come!"
Einstein looks up and immediately spots Newton standing right in front of him.
He says, "I found you, Newton!"
Newton replies, "No, you found one Newton per square meter - You found Pascal!"

[Dean Los Angeles]

Did anybody see the original Matrix? Or Pulp Fiction?

[Stainless1]

Jerry.... Monte.... would one of you please get this thread back on track, it is seriously derailed...

[Dean Los Angeles]

A women takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.

Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.

The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy: 'I have a baseball..'
Man: 'That's nice'
Boy: 'Want to buy it?'
Man: 'No thanks.'
Boy: 'My Dad's outside.'
Man: 'OK, how much?'
Boy: '$250.'

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy: 'Dark in here.'
Man 'Yes, it is."
Boy: 'I have a baseball glove.'
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, 'How much?'
Boy: '$750'
Man: 'Sold.'

A few days later, the Dad says to the boy, 'Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch.'
The boy says, 'I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove.'
The Dad asks, 'How much did you sell them for?'
Boy: '$1,000'

The Dad says, 'That's terrible to over charge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm taking you to church, to confession.'
They go to the church and the Dad makes the little boy sit in the confessional booth and closes the door.

The boy says, 'Dark in here.'

The priest says, 'Dont start that s**t again; you're in my closet now.'

[floydjer]

Try this Bob............................I had dinner last night at a Chinese place.....My entree` kept looking at me with one eye. I think it was a Peking Duck.   The rest of you? Straighten up.

[Captthundarr]

That's better

[floydjer]

That's better

I`m always available for stupidity......................Hey, wait a minute

[floydjer]

I had a joke for today about amnesia...But I forgot how it goes............

[Dean Los Angeles]

I had dinner at a german-chinese restaurant last night.

10 minutes later I was hungry for power again.