Stupid joke FRIDAY

Started by floydjer, March 20, 2009, 08:11:27 AM

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fastesthonda_jim

#4965
December 23, 2022, 06:03:25 AM
Speaking of hawks (don't wanna ruin the thread you've started, Jer)
Anyway, speaking of hawks, my uncle has the heart of a lion, the eyes of a hawk, and the legs of a cheetah



He's also a trained taxidermist
2006 SCTA High Points Champeen
2006 Dirty "2" Wrench Of The Year
Bonneville "2" Club 2003
El Mirage Dirty "2"'s 2006
Bonneville Records: G/GS, F/GS (Boy)  G/FS (Girl)
El Mirage Records: F/BFS, F/FS, F/GS, I/FS, I/GS, K/BGS
FIA Records A, II, 8
Unlimited License
300mph line qualified (305.129 best mile speed)
The older half of San Diego's Fastest Couple
2016 Man of Distinction Award
DLRA 2019 Top Speed of The Meet (309.438 Mile - 323.3 GPS)

Speed Limit 1000

#4966
December 23, 2022, 06:09:38 AM
What do you call a broke Santa Claus? Saint-Nickel-Less
John Gowetski, red hat @ 221.183 MPH MSA Lakester, Bockscar #1000 60 ci normally aspirated w/N20

Speed Limit 1000

#4967
December 23, 2022, 06:11:53 AM
What does Mrs. Claus get when she wears tight pants...A mistletoe
John Gowetski, red hat @ 221.183 MPH MSA Lakester, Bockscar #1000 60 ci normally aspirated w/N20

floydjer

#4968
December 23, 2022, 01:30:30 PM
Yo Jim....My uncle had the exact same animal parts....And a lifetime ban from the zoo.... 1drink
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

floydjer

#4969
December 23, 2022, 01:35:30 PM
Weather update....The snow is not accumulating here in G.R....It is going sideways far too fast for that.
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

floydjer

#4970
December 30, 2022, 04:56:49 AM
Where did the math teacher go to celebrate New Year's Eve?..Times Square.
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

fastesthonda_jim

#4971
December 30, 2022, 06:53:19 AM
Funny.  I had thought he would have spent it on the Continental Divide - not nearly as crowded.
2006 SCTA High Points Champeen
2006 Dirty "2" Wrench Of The Year
Bonneville "2" Club 2003
El Mirage Dirty "2"'s 2006
Bonneville Records: G/GS, F/GS (Boy)  G/FS (Girl)
El Mirage Records: F/BFS, F/FS, F/GS, I/FS, I/GS, K/BGS
FIA Records A, II, 8
Unlimited License
300mph line qualified (305.129 best mile speed)
The older half of San Diego's Fastest Couple
2016 Man of Distinction Award
DLRA 2019 Top Speed of The Meet (309.438 Mile - 323.3 GPS)

Stainless1

#4972
December 30, 2022, 07:05:38 AM
Not to change the subject, but I was talking to a member of the local nudist colony and he answered an age old question....
bares do shit in the woods...  :cheers:
Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, Bockscar Lakester #1000 with a little N2O

floydjer

#4973
December 30, 2022, 11:48:42 AM
Well Jim....If he goes there he should wear glasses....They improve di-vision.
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

floydjer

#4974
January 06, 2023, 06:04:01 AM
Speaking of education.....My teachers always said I should follow my dreams....Yet every time I fell asleep in class they would wake me🤔 So confusing.
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

fastesthonda_jim

#4975
January 06, 2023, 06:23:56 AM
As long as we insist on trying to become smarter (that edumacation thingie, donchaknow) I heard a story the other day over the wireless.
Seems one day the sex education teacher was going to explain how to use a condom, and had brought a banana to class. 
When queried about the banana he replied, "It's because I find it difficult to get an erection on an empty stomach." 
2006 SCTA High Points Champeen
2006 Dirty "2" Wrench Of The Year
Bonneville "2" Club 2003
El Mirage Dirty "2"'s 2006
Bonneville Records: G/GS, F/GS (Boy)  G/FS (Girl)
El Mirage Records: F/BFS, F/FS, F/GS, I/FS, I/GS, K/BGS
FIA Records A, II, 8
Unlimited License
300mph line qualified (305.129 best mile speed)
The older half of San Diego's Fastest Couple
2016 Man of Distinction Award
DLRA 2019 Top Speed of The Meet (309.438 Mile - 323.3 GPS)

Stainless1

#4976
January 06, 2023, 06:36:06 AM
Quote from: floydjer on January 06, 2023, 06:04:01 AM
Speaking of education.....My teachers always said I should follow my dreams....Yet every time I fell asleep in class they would wake me🤔 So confusing.

Jer... probably the snoring was keeping the other students awake...
Stainless
Red Hat 228.039, 2001, 65ci, Bockscar Lakester #1000 with a little N2O

floydjer

#4977
January 13, 2023, 05:57:13 AM
What do ghosts do for fun on Friday the13th?? ...Ride elevators..They raise the spirits..
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Speed Limit 1000

#4978
January 13, 2023, 01:04:25 PM
Which pasta dish do Italian people eat on Friday the 13th?... Fettuccine Afraid-o
John Gowetski, red hat @ 221.183 MPH MSA Lakester, Bockscar #1000 60 ci normally aspirated w/N20

floydjer

#4979
January 13, 2023, 01:12:29 PM
Friday the 13th ??  I am not superstitious....I' m just 'stitious..
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.
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