Land Racing Quote Thread

[fastesthonda_jim]

Th..th..this is a gr..gre...great j...j...joke.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5aweaoakyK8

Should bring down the house if you can do it krecklie

[Milwaukee Midget]

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.     Kaiser Wilhelm

I had no idea that Augusta Victoria was a teetotaler . . .

[Seldom Seen Slim]

Jim, I enjoyed Mel Tillis back then - and now, too.  But the way the video ends leaves quite a bit of room for interpretation or ad libbing my own ending.  Yeah, the foot in the grave is a good lead to the punchline -- but I'll have to work on it for a while before I can use it.

Understand that I want to have good audience reaction for my "jokes".  There'll be three of us up there, one at a time, and the winner -- the one that gets the most applause -- winds a big pitcher of beer.  I want the girls that are with me to have that to enjoy - so I can enjoy driving them home.

[fastesthonda_jim]

Yeah, the end is a bit weak.  I first heard it on XM Radio on a comedy channel and it went a bit further, I thought, with Mel finishing it off.
Good Yuk with your presentation.

[Glen]

Sure tell that racing season and now into the silly season, 

[Seldom Seen Slim]

This isn't quite a quotation, but it is kind of silly.  It's a song written by G.F. Handel, titled "Happy We".  Take a listen - especially to the words.  They're appropriate for a Friday morning with the approach of the weekend.

http://cs536514.vk.me/u4809288/audios/b791bf8f0d57.mp3?extra=EbHnsKwGKqnrAJRyoA9UeDqCt4h0LQU9Nm4msC0V6R-M2Aq26axzpOLA0wE27hMB-wE2AEnY5_ZiTaQ39E0NP_wW-W_6Put4?dl=1

[Peter Jack]

"Page Not Found" Slim. I'd hate to go back and try and find where the slip up is. (long, complicated url)

Pete

[floydjer]

" Always carry a flask of whiskey in case of snake bite..And furthermore..always carry a snake"   Claude William Dunkenfield

[floydjer]

My pharmacist asked for my birthdate again....I`ll bet she`s buying me a nice gift.....

[floydjer]

When ever I have a bad day , I just remember that some people are having babies..............

[floydjer]

duct tape can`t fix stupid...But it can muffle the sound.............

[fordboy628]

"I can explain it to you . . . . .       BUT, I can't understand it for you."



F/B

[fordboy628]

"I reserve and respect your right to remain stupid.    I also reserve my right to ignore each and every thing you say."

Unfortunately, I'm using this a lot lately . . . . . .


F/B

[fordboy628]

And, finally:

"I'm not arguing with you.   I'm explaining why I'm right."

I don't use this one much anymore.



I prefer to use this:   "Go argue with my laptop."      Because it is a "disagreement ender."

I'm trying very hard to not "waste" my time and my oxygen, "arguing" with those who dismiss science as just theories, or a passing fad.


JeezI'mturningintoMr.Wilsonboy

[floydjer]

Stupid people are like glow sticks....They make me want to snap them in the middle and shake the sh*t out of them  `til the light comes on.........