Stupid joke FRIDAY

[floydjer]

Did I mention that my frog wears shoes??? They`re ....."Open-toad" :lol:

[theazoldcrow]

  Now that ya mention it,......."Ya crack me up ,,,, sometimes,,,  alot??   Oh welll.....~

[floydjer]

Walking through the crowd at the last summer Olympics, I saw a man carrying a long wooden shaft. I asked if he were a pole vaulter and he said 'No...I`m german,...But how did you know my name`s Walter?"

[floydjer]

Did you hear about the suicidal twin who killed her sister by mistake?

[Seldom Seen Slim]

Jerry, that reminded me of the story about the sadist and masochist that were having a heated discussion.  The Masochist said "Hit me, hurt me, please!!", and the Sadist replied "No, I won't. . ."

[floydjer]

Slim, I asked a masochist friend what she saw in her sadist boyfriend...She said " Beats me "

[4-barrel Mike]

From my crazy uncle in Red Bluff:

Wish To Live Forever

I met a fairy today that said she would grant me one wish.

"I want to live forever," I said.

"Sorry," said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that!"

"Fine," I said, "then I want to die after Congress get their heads out of their asses!"

"You crafty bastard," said the fairy.

[WOODY@DDLLC]

This made me laugh hard!!

I recently picked a new primary care doctor.

After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age. (I just turned sixty-something.)

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'

He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?

'Oh no,' I replied.  'I'm not doing drugs, either!'

Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued Ribs?

'I said, 'Not much... my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'

'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking or bicycling?'

'No, I don't,' I said.

He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars or have a lots of sex?'

'No,' I said.

He looked at me and said, 'Then why do you even give a Subaru?

[floydjer]

I bought a book of poetry , written by Mongolian rulers......It has it`s prose and khans...................

[Milwaukee Midget]

I bought a book of poetry , written by Mongolian rulers......It has it`s prose and khans...................

5:17 in the morning??!!

[manta22]

A potentate, rich and despotic

had tastes that were rather exotic

"I've always adored making love in a Ford...

you see, I'm auto-erotic."



Regards, Neil   Tucson, AZ

[SaltRat]

There was a young lady from Exeter,

all the young men threw their sex at her!

Just to be rude,

she'd lie in the nude . . .

while her parrot, a pervert, took pecks at her.

[manta22]

A young trapeeze artist named Bract

was faced with a very sad fact--

imagine his pain

when again and again

he catches his wife in the act.

Regards, Neil  Tucson, AZ

[Gwillard]

The Mouse On The Barroom Floor

Some Guinness was spilt on the barroom floor
When the pub was shut for the night.
Out of his hole crept a wee brown mouse
And stood in the pale moon light.

He lapped up the frothy brew from the floor
Then back on haunches he sat.
And all night long you could hear him roar
"Bring on the God Damn cat!"

[Milwaukee Midget]

Limericks AND mice -
Which brings us to . . .

Hickory dickory dock
Two mice ran up her sock
One stopped at the garter
The other was smarter
Hickory dickory doc.