Stupid joke FRIDAY

[k.h.]

My one-legged adventure was with a girl named Peg.  She left me after an argument when I told her she didn't have a leg to stand on.

[Dr Goggles]

My one-legged adventure was with a girl named Peg.  She left me after an argument when I told her she didn't have a leg to stand on.

Pedant!

.or should I say, stop being so ped-anti-c

[4-barrel Mike]

From my crazy uncle in Red Bluff:

Just a little body humor!

Colonoscopy

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.

"I should be in charge," said the brain , "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the blood , "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy."

"I should be in charge," said the legs , "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."

"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes."

"I should be in charge," said the rectum , "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.  Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.

The Moral of the story?  Even though the others do all the work...




The ass hole is usually in charge.

[floydjer]

Two fonts walk in to a bar and the bartender says  " We don`t serve your type in here.................."

[Milwaukee Midget]

More an observation than a joke - or is it . . . ? 

Today, gold is trading at about $1700.00 a troy ounce.

58.8 troy ounces = ~ $100,000.00

There are 10.172 troy ounces per cubic inch.

$100,000.00 worth of gold would be a bar about 1" wide, 1" high, and 5 3/4" long.

Which is about the size of a Nestle $100,000.00 bar.

[floydjer]

Know what happens to Eskimos that sit on the ice too long?? They get polaroids

[theazoldcrow]

 
The way to catch a Polar Bear.
Cut a 6 inch hole in the ice.
Ring the hole with 1 can of S & W Brand Pea's.

When the bear comes out to take a pea,,,,,,
Ya kick 'em in the ice hole!

[4-barrel Mike]

No joke!    World's most tatooed man! http://video.foxnews.com/v/1178274046001/?test=faces



Mike

[floydjer]

I wonder how deep the oceans would be without sponges...................................

[Peter Jack]

Why such a deep question on a light hearted board Floydjer???

Pete

[Stan Back]

What do they call Hawaiian Hebrews?

Pineapple Jews.

[floydjer]

Know the worst part of a lung transplant??.....Knowing that the first time you cough up phlegm..It isn`t your own................................

[floydjer]

Wow....Brought my own thread to a screeching halt...........................................

[Dean Los Angeles]

It's hard to top what you put out there.

By the way, do you know how to top a car?

Tep on the brake tupid!

[floydjer]

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?/...Because if they flew over the bay, they`d be ....bay gulls.