Stupid joke FRIDAY

Milwaukee Midget · October 26, 2011, 02:53:26 PM

Jerry, you usually lead off on the SJF, but I've got to tell, I think you've found a topic that really works on this forum. This sheep thing seems to have legs.

Long, thin, shapely legs . . .

Dean Los Angeles · October 26, 2011, 03:02:42 PM

Angelo immigrated from Italy and made a fortune selling spaghetti.
He talked to the builder about the house of his dreams.

"I wanna curvin stairs onna right. I wanna curvin stairs onna left. In the middle I wanna hollow statue."
The builder was puzzled by the language, but got everything but the last one.
"You want a hollow statue?"
"Yessa, I wanna hollow statue inna tween the stairs."

The builder figured he had a lot of money to throw around, so he had a sculptor carve a beautiful, although hollow, statue.
On the day the build was finished the builder opened the front door to two fantastic curving stairways surrounding the statue.

"Hey! Thema stairs looka really great. The carved broad looks a good too. But wheres the hollow statue?"
"It's right there!"
"No, no. I wanna . . . you know. Ringa, ringa. Hollow? is statue?"

Dean Los Angeles · October 26, 2011, 03:10:46 PM

Mary is having the whole house and gardens renovated.
After major construction she is showing the contractor the colors she wants.

"I want the living room a light beige col . . . "
In the middle of the sentence the contractor runs over to the window, throws it open and yells,
"Green up! Green up!" He slams the window and come back. "You were saying?"

Mary continues with the color pallate. "I want the dining roo . . . "
Once again the builder runs to the window, throws it open and yells,
"Green up! Green up!" He slams the window and comes back. "You were saying?"

Mary is getting upset over this behavior, but is too polite to say anything. "In the bedr . . ."
Once again a trip to the window.
"Green up! Green up!" He slams the window and come back. "You were saying?"
By this time Mary had had enough. "What on earth is going on? You keep yelling out the window!"
The contractor apologized and said, "I have a bunch of morons from Landracing.com putting the sod in."

Moxnix · October 26, 2011, 03:15:10 PM

Oooooh. Bring the sheep jokes baaahhhk.

Stan Back · October 26, 2011, 04:37:45 PM

You know -- looking again at the Air New Zealand ad -- it looks like they're charging $90 each to take the arm rests out. Now, that's not funny (sorry).

bbarn · October 27, 2011, 06:02:45 AM

www.adultsheepfinder.com

floydjer · October 27, 2011, 07:57:11 AM

floydjer · October 27, 2011, 08:05:06 AM

Quote from: Rcktscientist on October 26, 2011, 12:44:40 PM
Wow, this week I feel like every day is Friday. I hope someone's lawyer doesn't make Slim remove it!

Or the band-width police....................

SaltRat · October 27, 2011, 08:35:20 AM

It says (I "heard") the next related search is "New Zealand Dating" - what does this mean???

Why is New Zealand like a clitoris?
They are both "down there" and nobody cares.

Seriously, love the downunder guys. No, really!

Quote from: bbarn on October 27, 2011, 06:02:45 AM
www.adultsheepfinder.com

floydjer · October 28, 2011, 04:57:23 AM

Now that it`s Friday

.............Thieves stole all of the toilets from a local Police station. A spokesman said no clues were found and the officers have nothing to go on........................

wobblywalrus · October 28, 2011, 06:04:03 AM

DO NOT OPEN THE SHEEPFINDER. I clicked on it and it would not open. Suddenly I was dealing with a virus called Troj/Sirefef-1. I think I was lucky enough to stop the virus before it trashed the system.

floydjer · October 28, 2011, 06:12:48 AM

I`m only slightly concerned that you looked........................................

Stainless1 · October 28, 2011, 06:16:05 AM

Slightly?

floydjer · November 04, 2011, 05:25:45 AM

Two DNA are walking together when one turns and asks " Do these genes make me look fat ?"

WOODY@DDLLC · November 04, 2011, 07:01:05 AM

In an alcohol factory the regular taster died and the director was in urgent need of looking for a replacement.

A drunkard with ragged, dirty look came to apply for the position..

The director of the factory wondered how to send him away.

They tested him.

They gave him a glass with a drink.

He tried it and said, "It's red wine, a muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers."

"That's correct", said the boss.

Another glass.

"It's red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, a south-western slope, oak barrels."

"Correct."

A third glass.

''It's champagne, high grade and exclusive'' calmly said the drunk.

The director was astonished.

He winked at his secretary to suggest something.

She brought in a glass of slightly yellow liquid. The alcoholic tried it.

"It's a blonde, 26 years old, pregnant in the third month.

And if you don't give me the job, I'll name the father!"

News:

Stupid joke FRIDAY