Stupid joke FRIDAY

Started by floydjer, March 20, 2009, 08:11:27 AM

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JustaRacer

#1110
October 26, 2012, 11:49:32 AM
I can swallow 2 pieces of rope, and when I pass them, they are firmly connected.

I shiit you knot...
My doctor told me to go out and kill people.
Well, sort of.  He told me to reduce the stress in my life.

Kevin G

#1111
October 26, 2012, 12:45:52 PM
I've heard that Neal Armstrong used to tell really dumb jokes about the Moon. When no one laughed he'd just shrug and say "guess you had to be there"
68 in a 55. Michigan State Police. 98
65 in a 55. Wayne County Sheriff. 02
Loud exhaust. Memphis City Police 03

floydjer

#1112
November 02, 2012, 05:33:17 AM
From the " Better late than never" department......Where do ghosts buy food?....At the Ghostery Store.... :lol:          Why don`t ghosts like going out in the rain??..Because it dampens their spirits.... :wink:Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand...How do you fix a broken Jack  0` Lantern???   ..With a pumpkin patch   :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Dr Goggles

#1113
November 02, 2012, 05:44:19 AM
got diced pumpkin with a meal the other night, I thought "what's the chance of that?"
Few understand what I'm trying to do but they vastly outnumber those who understand why...................

http://thespiritofsunshine.blogspot.com/

Current Australian E/GL record holder at 215.041mph

THE LUCKIEST MAN IN SLOW BUSINESS.

Milwaukee Midget

#1114
November 02, 2012, 06:28:38 AM
Quote from: Dr Goggles on November 02, 2012, 05:44:19 AM
got diced pumpkin with a meal the other night, I thought "what's the chance of that?"

All's well; that end's welded.

Back to the shed, Doc . . .
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

mstrdinan

#1115
November 02, 2012, 06:53:54 AM
what do you call a Hooker's fart?

                        a prostitoot

USFRAMONTE

#1116
November 02, 2012, 06:55:48 AM
What do ghosts drink at a Halloween party?
Ghoul aid...

Dr Goggles

#1117
November 02, 2012, 07:04:23 AM
cnkcnkcnkcnk....dice, chance... :roll:
Few understand what I'm trying to do but they vastly outnumber those who understand why...................

http://thespiritofsunshine.blogspot.com/

Current Australian E/GL record holder at 215.041mph

THE LUCKIEST MAN IN SLOW BUSINESS.

maguromic

#1118
November 02, 2012, 07:58:17 AM
Why did the tomato turn red?  Because it saw the salad dressing!  Tony
"If you haven't seen the future, you are not going fast enough"

JustaRacer

#1119
November 02, 2012, 08:03:48 AM
Hijack -

Not a joke.

A group of Trick or Treater's came to the door towards the end of the evening.  For the first 1/2 of the night I was wearing a devil mask; so scary looking that some kids would not come to the door until I took it off.

But now I was wearing a different, equally hideous mask (Davey Jones from Pirates of the Caribbean), that wasn't as hot inside.

"Hey Mister, weren't you wearing a devil mask when we came by earlier????" a few of the group exclaimed.  Step One - Think.  Step Two - Talk.

I blame the school system ...
My doctor told me to go out and kill people.
Well, sort of.  He told me to reduce the stress in my life.

Peter Jack

#1120
November 02, 2012, 08:47:14 AM
Still pretty funny!  :roll: :roll: :-D

Pete

floydjer

#1121
November 09, 2012, 06:29:44 AM
I`ve decided to learn sign language...I think it will come in handy........................ :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

floydjer

#1122
November 09, 2012, 06:31:10 AM
Post election bonus.........................I had to buy a new colander..The old one couldn`t take the strain
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

floydjer

#1123
November 16, 2012, 05:02:54 AM
Why don`t turkeys eat on Thanksgiving Day ?...Because they are already stuffed :cheers:
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

USFRAMONTE

#1124
November 16, 2012, 06:45:18 AM
The local Catholic church has started using a bus to bring people to services on Sunday.
They are calling it mass transit.
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