The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread

[Dr Goggles]

President Reagan said  We win they lose. 

Now that's the correct answer. no pussy footing around like the current person filling that office. 

I wonder if there'll ever be Barry Cabana tramp stamps?

[racergeo]

  Kent thanks for the excellent post. very funny as was the one attributed to you from Honda Jim. Funny stuff. Now if we could just get that Dr. Googles guy to shape up this would be a very civil sight :lol:

[ol38y]

Since it's not Fri..
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The
woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she
and her sister owned the store, so there were no males employed there.
She then asked if she could help the gentleman.

The man said that it was something that he would be much more
comfortable discussing with a male pharmacist. The female pharmacist
assured him that she was completely professional and whatever it was
that he needed to discuss, he could be confident that she would treat
him with the highest level of professionalism.
The man agreed and began by saying, "This is tough for me to discuss,
but I have a permanent erection. It causes me a lot of problems and
severe embarrassment. So I was wondering what you could give me for
it." The pharmacist said, "Just a minute, I'll go talk to my sister."

When she returned, she said, "We discussed it at length and the
absolute best we can do is, 1/3 ownership of the shop, a company car,
and $3,000 a month living expenses

[Dr Goggles]

very good Larry.

Now,

An Irishman who has just got a new job is sitting at the kitchen table carving numbers into a huge potato....

His wife says.

"what the feck are you doing"

"Well, everybody told me if I got a job .....I'd have to.....getupotatoclock"

[racergeo]

  You are killin me.......That is so good

[4-barrel Mike]

From my crazy uncle in Red Bluff:

Recently, New Zealand and Japan had terrible earthquakes with many aftershocks. Some were thought to be oscillatory, while others were believed to be trepidatory.  It occurred to me that most people might be confused about this, so I thought it wise to let everyone know the difference.




What's the difference between an oscillatory and a trepidatory earthquake?

1. This calculation is just for engineers:






2. And this one is for laymen -- like most of you:

This is a trepidatory earthquake -- an up and down movement.....



This is an oscillatory earthquake -- a side to side movement...



And this is a combination of both trepidatory and oscillatory:




Isn't science beautiful when properly explained?

[MC 1314]

Miike, I almost posted that this AM, got busy and forgot, thanks for reminding me!
Bob

[SaltRat]

I think I'm hypnotized!

[Gwillard]

I studied both explanations and all three examples in college.  :lol:

[Stan Back]

I watched for 10 minutes expecting one of them to escape containment.  Now I've got my own personal tsunami to clean up.

Stan

[Captthundarr]

Wow they all look like my 3 x wives the middle one looks like wife #4  kool

[4-barrel Mike]

My crazy uncle in Red Bluff sadly reports the death of a TV icon:

The Pillsbury Dough boy died yesterday at Crescent General Hospital due to complications from a yeast infection and trauma from repeated pokes to the belly.  He was 71.

Dough Boy was survived by his wife Play Dough, three children, John Dough, Jane Dough, and Dosey Dough, plus one in the oven.

The funeral was held at 350 for about 20 minutes.

[k.h.]

From a crazy Irish friend in Alaska:

After being married for 40 years, I took a careful look at my
wife one day and said, "forty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk
car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but
I got to sleep every night with a hot 23-year-old girl.
Now .... I have a $800,000.00 home, a $55,000.00 car, a nice big bed and
a large screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 63-year-old woman.. It seems
to me that you're not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find
a hot 23-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once
again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa
bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.

Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve an old guy's
problems.

[Milwaukee Midget]

http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/11556484

[Glen]

SPAM