The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread

[tauruck]

  This is for Jerry.
                                                     
Yesterday I bought two six packs of beer on sale at the Liquor Store near home.
I placed them on the front seat and headed back home.





                       
I stopped at the service station where a drop-dead gorgeous, almost blonde, was filling up her car at the next pump.
                                                                     
It was very warm and she was wearing tight shorts and a light top which was wide open.
She glanced at the beer, bent over and knocked on my passenger window.

With her bra-less breasts almost falling out her skimpy top, she said in a sexy voice,
"I'm a big believer in barter, old fella. Would you be interested in trading sex for beer?" 



                       

I thought about it and said,
"What kinda beer you got"

[floydjer]

a giraffe walks into a bar and yells " The highballs on me ........."

[bbarn]

It's a prank not a joke but still made me laugh very heartily. This is the third one if you search youtube the second one is pretty good too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPyYK_mhtwg

[sofadriver]

It's a prank not a joke but still made me laugh very heartily. This is the third one if you search youtube the second one is pretty good too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPyYK_mhtwg

awesome!

[tallguy]

I'm not myself until I've had coffee . . . that's why my wife won't let me have any.

[floydjer]

This cannot wait until Friday......what do you do if you are attacked by a group of circus workers?  Go for the juggler..

[Milwaukee Midget]

Bad joke pi day?  I'm in.  

Due to a lack of snow, the annual Iditarod was conducted with automobiles this year.

The winner was driving a Mushtang.

[fordboy628]

Me too.

Area of a circle  = π*R²

"Everybody knows pies are round, not squared."   Gracie Allen

[fordboy628]

I like to think of myself as sort of π-like . . . . . .

Irrational, but well rounded . . . . . . .

[floydjer]

Oh yeah??? well how do you think the un-thinkable?...with an ithe berg..

[floydjer]

speaking of which..I`m writing the screen play to a movie..Sort of a cross between Titanic and the Sixth Sense...I`m calling it " Icy Dead People"

[floydjer]

The bride and I were out for dinner last eve` and at the next table were 3 rather large women having a somewhat  loud  conversation in what I thought to be a Scottish accent....So I leaned over and asked "  Are you ladies from Scotland " ?  The largest of the bunch yelled " No...Wales..all 3 of us "   So I replied  " Oh....So you 3 whales are from Scotland ?....."

[floydjer]

I went to the doc, for my annual....Doctor says " It`s normal for a man to get an erection during a prostate exam" I told him I didn`t have an erection and he said .." But I do....."

[floydjer]

It`s official....Mrs. Floydjer has been around me too long....We were on our daily walk around Reeds Lake and passed a home project in progress. It`s  6,000 sq.ft brick Tudor....The new owners had it rotated 180 degrees so that the bedrooms face the lake....No, I`m not kidding. Anyway, I commented that the lawn that wasn`t there yesterday seemed to be there now...Patti said "  They must have "sod-omized" it".......jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez

[Peter Jack]

Jerry, you're obviously married to the right lady! 

Pete