The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread

[kiwi belly tank]

Many years ago I worked at a VW shop & the owner's name was Jack Doff.
  Sid.

[floydjer]

I`m confused.....smoking will kill you...bacon will kill you...But smoking bacon cures it ?

[floydjer]

I removed the battery from my carbon monoxide detector.....that loud beeping was making me dizzy and sleepy............................

[floydjer]

A pal of mine said his wife told him that sex is better while on vacation......Struck me as a rude thing to write on a post card...........................

[WOODY@DDLLC]

That's what I tried to tell her! 

[tauruck]

Many years ago I worked at a VW shop & the owner's name was Jack Doff.
  Sid.

Doff means dumb here in SA.

[floydjer]

I thought about going to the local comedy club for amateur night.....But I don`t want people laughing at me( Abuse starts in 3....2....)

[floydjer]

Strange......When I was a kid I could pull off my clothes and run around the yard naked and people thought it was funny....Today?..Not so much

[floydjer]

I seem to have mis-placed my watch..............I`ll see if I can find the time to look for it................

[floydjer]

Just spotted an add in the bargain corner ..." Radio, Volume knob is broken and stuck on full..$1"........Hmmm, I can`t turn that down.................

[Seldom Seen Slim]

Good, Jer -- Good!

[tauruck]

A bit early but Racingjunk sent an email full of Spooktacular deals for the end of the month.

[WOODY@DDLLC]

Bear mystery finally solved!

[floydjer]

just a thought...How about alphabet soup combined w/ a laxative??  I could call it " Letter Rip"....Yes I know what day it is...I may be out of town Friday............

[grumm441]

I used work with a guy named Wayne Carr
the name was appropriate

Moving on
Australia used to have a Prime Minister named Harold Hold
the name used to get used in rhyming slang, doing a Harold Holt was doing a bolt, or sneaking away

There was also a US Navy Knox class destroyer named after him.
He vanished while swimming at Chevoit beach in Victoria, while he was the Prime minister of Australia, presumed drowned
there was also some conspiracy theories floated that he was a Chinese spy and swam out to a Chinese submarine that was waiting for him
Perhaps we'll never know
Unless of course , the Chinese name a Submarine after him

And what did we do in Australia
Named a pool after him of course
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harold_Holt_Memorial_Swimming_Centre

G