The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread

[tauruck]

 

[floydjer]

For those planning on attending my New year`s Day breakfast social...I will be serving eggs benedict atop a hub cap...Because there is no plate like chrome for the hollandaise...........................

[manta22]

Whatever you do, do not serve Eggs Benedict Arnold- they turn on you. 

Regards, Neil  Tucson, AZ

[floydjer]

So cooking while listening to "Arnold Layne" is out ..?

[Seldom Seen Slim]

Whoa!  This guy has hit on something - techno-humor from an engineer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=545&v=LYE3GtXqDV0

[floydjer]

I hear Disneyland will be naming its new high speed thrill ride after Dale Earnhardt...Then they will name the airplane thrill ride after Roberto Clemente.............

[floydjer]

I`d rather go bird hunting with Dick Cheney than take a car ride with Ted Kennedy  (Yes I know it`s all water under the bridge )

[floydjer]

The weather in Michigan...That is today`s joke...It is currently minus 9 with a 25 m.p.h breeze..Weatherman says Monday will be 50 with rain.

[Peter Jack]

And we're 29F with a 4 mph wind. It's karma Jerry!  

Unfortunately by the time Sunday rolls around the polar vertex is supposed to reach us and you'll get to laugh. 

Pete

[floydjer]

Well Pete...3 weeks ago, I walked around the yard with a leaf blower in a sweat shirt.....And before Slim jumps into my sh*t..I was wearing the sweat shirt, NOT the leaf blower..And yes, I had pants and shoes on too...

[floydjer]

Indeed

[Stainless1]

That doesn't look like Patti.... old girlfriend?   

[floydjer]

Contrary to popular belief, The Pirate`s favorite letter is not he " R"...It`s the " C"................

[floydjer]

Belated for Bob and Slim.......When a guy is in his teens he plays football....As he gets older he switches to softball....And in his golden years he turns to golf. Have you noticed that as they age, Their balls get smaller???

[Seldom Seen Slim]

Why, no, Jerry, I hadn't noticed.  Thanks for pointing that out to us.