The un-official Land Racing Joke Thread

Started by floydjer, March 24, 2009, 05:25:34 AM

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Podunk

#630
November 02, 2013, 04:59:28 PM
I just told my wife the ID 10 T joke. When we stopped laughing she sez " Well, what was wrong with it?"

bbarn

Re:
#631
November 02, 2013, 05:34:02 PM
The other problem we computer people run into is the PICNIC problem...Problem In Chair Not In Computer.
I almost never wake up cranky, I usually just let her sleep in.

Dean Los Angeles

#632
November 15, 2013, 08:03:00 AM
I hope this is the right thread. I have a 4 inch body lift on my truck and 2 days ago my truck started to shake once I got going faster than 70 and I think it's the suspension or the tires are unbalanced and since the girls are no longer paying attention to this post does anybody know any good porn sites?
Well, it used to be Los Angeles . . . 50 miles north of Fresno now.
Just remember . . . It isn't life or death.
It's bigger than life or death! It's RACING.

Seldom Seen Slim

#633
November 15, 2013, 11:18:43 AM
Dean, I didn't know there were any bad porn sites. :evil:
Jon E. Wennerberg
a/k/a Seldom Seen Slim
Skandia, Michigan
(that's way up north)
2 Club member x2
Owner of landracing.com

USFRAMONTE

#634
November 15, 2013, 11:21:40 AM
My nieghbor lady told me the most popular guy at the nudist colony ....

is the one that can carry two cups of coffee and six donuts all at the same time.

Dean Los Angeles

#635
November 20, 2013, 07:47:46 AM
Dear Justin Bieber haters.

I owe my life to Justin.

On March 29, 2009 I was in a coma for six months after a terrible automobile accident.

One day my nurse turned the radio to Justin's song.

I got up from my coma and turned the damn thing off.
Well, it used to be Los Angeles . . . 50 miles north of Fresno now.
Just remember . . . It isn't life or death.
It's bigger than life or death! It's RACING.

floydjer

#636
November 22, 2013, 06:07:02 AM
Quote from: Seldom Seen Slim on November 15, 2013, 11:18:43 AM
Dean, I didn't know there were any bad porn sites. :evil:
www.       ....Nevermind
I`d never advocate drugs,alcohol,violence or insanity to anyone...But they work for me.

Seldom Seen Slim

#637
December 05, 2013, 08:33:52 AM
Perhaps you've heard the news that some of the major shippers are now considering using drone technology to deliver packages to customers -- even residential places.  Imagine finding this on your front door some day soon:
Jon E. Wennerberg
a/k/a Seldom Seen Slim
Skandia, Michigan
(that's way up north)
2 Club member x2
Owner of landracing.com

Dean Los Angeles

#638
December 06, 2013, 09:38:07 AM
Amazon drones! Ha!

The United States Postal Service responds!
Well, it used to be Los Angeles . . . 50 miles north of Fresno now.
Just remember . . . It isn't life or death.
It's bigger than life or death! It's RACING.

Dean Los Angeles

#639
December 06, 2013, 09:52:43 AM
MATH IS IMPORTANT TO LAND SPEED RACING



Well, it used to be Los Angeles . . . 50 miles north of Fresno now.
Just remember . . . It isn't life or death.
It's bigger than life or death! It's RACING.

Milwaukee Midget

#640
December 06, 2013, 09:57:08 AM
Quote from: Dean Los Angeles on December 06, 2013, 09:38:07 AM
Amazon drones! Ha!

The United States Postal Service responds!


Long overdue.  It's good to see the USPS has finally adopted modern material handling techniques and methods that are inherently less destructive to the product being shipped.

Now if they can only speed up the line at the Pist Office . . .
"Problems are almost always a sign of progress."  Harold Bettes
Well, I guess we're making a LOT of progress . . .  :roll:

jimmy six

#641
December 06, 2013, 10:57:41 AM
They could learn a lot from "punkin chunkin" :evil:
First GMC 6 powered Fuel roadster over 200, with 2 red hats. Pit crew for Patrick Tone's Super Stock #49 Camaro

Dean Los Angeles

#642
December 07, 2013, 11:20:57 AM
My kid and I built a trebuchet years ago. If you are unfamiliar with that word, two things. One, I feel sorry for you. Two, a catapult directly launches a projectile.
A trebuchet uses a rope or cable to slingshot around the fulcrum arm to amplify distance.

Our first test run was in a large field. With a cantaloupe we cleared the fence and put it in some guy's back yard. :)
We took it to many a Boy Scout event. The launch weight was supplied by Boy Scout bodies standing on a platform. Much easier than transporting all that weight!
Well, it used to be Los Angeles . . . 50 miles north of Fresno now.
Just remember . . . It isn't life or death.
It's bigger than life or death! It's RACING.

Dean Los Angeles

#643
December 14, 2013, 08:07:58 AM
Helen was talking to Mary and asked; "Gee Mary why did you have so many kids?

Mary said; "it's because I'm hard of hearing."

"You had six kids because you're hard of hearing?"

Marty would come home late and drunk.
He would hop into bed, slap me on the ass and say; "You want to sleep or what?"
And I'd say; "What?"
Well, it used to be Los Angeles . . . 50 miles north of Fresno now.
Just remember . . . It isn't life or death.
It's bigger than life or death! It's RACING.

Seldom Seen Slim

#644
December 15, 2013, 07:16:41 AM
A student asked his English professor, "What is the definition
of a dilemma?"

"The professor said, "Well, there's nothing better than an
example to illustrate that."

"Imagine that you are lying in a big bed with a beautiful naked
young woman on one side and a gay man on the other."

"Who are you going to turn your back on?"

Jon E. Wennerberg
a/k/a Seldom Seen Slim
Skandia, Michigan
(that's way up north)
2 Club member x2
Owner of landracing.com
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